I held his paw and slept by his side for 14 days in hospital. But it turned out, all the love in the world wasn’t enough to save him. Thus begins the final post on Life of Dozer.
My dearest Dozer,
You came into my life in my arms, holding you protectively. And after almost 14 years together, I held you in my arms protectively again as I said goodbye.
I was sobbing so hard, I forgot everything I wanted to say to you in our final moments together.
So I started writing this letter to you, to say all those things.
I wanted to reminisce about our wonderful times – the thousands of visits to the dog beach, all the wonderful food we sampled together, the cuddles, the neck-scratching-sessions, our road trips.
I wanted to thank you for spreading the joy that is you with readers all around the world, for happily coming along with me to meet readers at events, book signings, fund raisers, lunches, dinners, not to mention TV shows, photo shoots, and my gosh, we can’t forget our stint on Play School!
But as I sit here, typing away with tears streaming down my face, I realise that’s not what I want to say to you.
What I want to say is thank you.
Thank you for giving me your whole heart.
Thank you for giving me your unconditional loyalty.
Thank you for loving me just as I am, for all my flaws, for never caring what I weigh, what I wear, what I look like.
Thank you for always being there, my one constant through the good and bad times.
Thank you for making me smile, even on the hardest of days.
And thank you for trying so hard to stay with me as long as you could, fighting to heal until your very last day. I will never forget how deep you had to dig to find the strength for your rehab walk on our final morning together.
I know that one day, I will be able to look at photos of you again without sobbing. And I know all this pain I am feeling is because I loved you so fiercely and completely, and I wouldn’t trade it for a second I got to spend with you.
But right now, four days after saying goodbye, it feels like the heartbreak will never heal, like I will never smile again.
Rest in peace, my darling Dozer. I will never forget you, and I will never stop loving you.
Love,
Your mum xoxo
Thank you SASH
To the vets and nurses at the Small Animal Specialist Hospital (SASH),
Thank you for the extraordinary care, skill, and kindness you showed Dozer. Every moment, from the medical expertise to the gentle reassurance and cheering him on, meant more to me than I can say. Knowing he was in such capable, compassionate hands gave me comfort during the hardest days. I will always be deeply grateful for everything you did for my beautiful boy. – Nagi x
Oh my heart sinks for you I totally understand how you are feeling! Gutted, lost but thank you for sharing your life with Dozer and all your memories that we all get to remember. The special pics, stories and recipe’s will be cheerished forever. Thank you from the bottom my ❤️
Take care and look forward to hearing from you when your ready.
Thank you Joy
Dear Nagi,
I am so enormously sorry for your loss and the pain you are enduring at the moment.
Grief is so hard, so soul breakingly hurtful and often, so lonely-in that no one other person, no matter how close, can enter another’s heart or mind and see precisely the sharp hurt and grinding pain they are living.
Go gently. Go slow. Watch the waves. Sit with memories -there is no harm in crying, the harm is when the tears turn inward and burn.
It’s ok if you laugh sometimes too-laugh at the funny memories or silly
moments or even something you see on tv, it doesn’t mean you miss or love Dozer any less.
Know too, that he will be with you. Unseen now, but still by your side, still loving you, still checking out your recipes and keeping watch over you every day until you meet again.
We are thinking of you & Dozer and (as I believe it matters) praying for you both.
Take your time-and know that you can take it.
Love from Harry (beagle), Rose & Rowena
I cried for the loss of Dozer. I didn’t know him but I know how amazing dogs are. It looks like he had a very good life and I believe we meet our dogs again in the next life. Because love is love.
So sorry for your loss Nagi. Dozer was lovely to enjoy from afar, and he brought you and us lots of love and joy! All who are loved are never lost to us ❤️
Sending you lots of love and peace. Thank you for sharing Dozer with us. What a treasure. I bet he’s teaching the chef up there how to make his favourite treat. Take care and I hope you feel his love surrounding you 💙
Love to you Nagi ❤️
I am so terribly sorry for your loss…. thoughts are with you.
So sorry for your loss Nagi. Dozer touched many hearts, and although I never met him, like so many others, I feel his loss 😢, Thank you for sharing him with the world. Love and prayers xx
Dear Nagi,
There’s nothing we can say to lessen your grief but I hope you’ll find some comfort knowing how many people care for you, how many hearts Dozer touched and how many of us share your sadness today. If love was all that was needed, Dozer would have lived forever.
Life has to end, love lives on xoxo
Dear Nagi,
As I read your write-up about dear Dozer, I couldn’t stop the tears from stopping. Dozer had become a part of my life. I’d always turn to the part about Dozer when your email reached my inbox. I’d smile whenever I read about him and remember my Doggie, the dog I had a lifetime ago.
My heartfelt condolences, dear Nagi. I’m with you as I mourn for Dozer and Doggie.
Much love,
Fahmeena
My heart is aching reading this. I’m still blubbering. You were the most amazing mum to Dozer. Heartfelt condolences ♥️.
Sending all my love xoxo
I just want to say how much your words have touched our hearts. In this post you have captured exactly what it is to love a dog. The love and sheer joy they bring to us is always going to end, but the pain is worth every single second spent together. You have put into words what the rest of us struggle to articulate.
My sympathy goes out to you and your family, as well as gratitude to you for saying what we feel.
I can’t say how sorry I am for your loss. It feels that since I started my cooking journey with you and your team that Dozer has been there to.The only thing I can say to you now is let your friends and family in and then let time do the healing.My deepest condolences.David
I am so sorry for your loss
I feel like ive lost part of my family i used to follow you so closely
I cried when I read about Dozer- I’ve loved that he has been part of your journey in life. He was so loved. Time eases the pain, but he will always have a piece of your heart. Sending you love and healing during this hard time.
Your post made me cry and my heart aches for you Nagi, You gave your Dozer an amazing life and he had repaid your gift in spades. Your grief will become easier to bear with time, but his memory will never fade. It has been 19 years since Swift, my own special Labrador left me, but he will always be my most cherished memory. So will your Dozer be for you.
Being a dog Mum is the BEST and also the hardest. What a life you gave Dozer, Nagi! You should be so proud. What joy for you both to be able to have so much time together every single day. So many wonderful memories for you. And thanks for sharing with us. You touched us all, Dozer. We will miss you. Thoughts and sympathies are with you at this difficult time, Nagi. ❤️❤️🐕
There is no pain as bad as losing a dog you truly love. We’ve been where you are after losing our magnificent Afghan Hound. It took us 6 years to be able meet our next boy. I wish we’d done it sooner because it helped a great deal. You will have to live through many more tears. But you were a wonderful mummy and Dozer loved you as much as you loved him and no-one could have tried harder to give him the best life any dog could ever have. I’m sorry for where you are. Dianne
Feeling so sad for you Nagi. We lost our dog Tilly, 10 years ago and it still breaks my heart. So sad for your loss. RIP Dozer.