I held his paw and slept by his side for 14 days in hospital. But it turned out, all the love in the world wasn’t enough to save him. Thus begins the final post on Life of Dozer.
My dearest Dozer,
You came into my life in my arms, holding you protectively. And after almost 14 years together, I held you in my arms protectively again as I said goodbye.
I was sobbing so hard, I forgot everything I wanted to say to you in our final moments together.
So I started writing this letter to you, to say all those things.
I wanted to reminisce about our wonderful times – the thousands of visits to the dog beach, all the wonderful food we sampled together, the cuddles, the neck-scratching-sessions, our road trips.
I wanted to thank you for spreading the joy that is you with readers all around the world, for happily coming along with me to meet readers at events, book signings, fund raisers, lunches, dinners, not to mention TV shows, photo shoots, and my gosh, we can’t forget our stint on Play School!
But as I sit here, typing away with tears streaming down my face, I realise that’s not what I want to say to you.
What I want to say is thank you.
Thank you for giving me your whole heart.
Thank you for giving me your unconditional loyalty.
Thank you for loving me just as I am, for all my flaws, for never caring what I weigh, what I wear, what I look like.
Thank you for always being there, my one constant through the good and bad times.
Thank you for making me smile, even on the hardest of days.
And thank you for trying so hard to stay with me as long as you could, fighting to heal until your very last day. I will never forget how deep you had to dig to find the strength for your rehab walk on our final morning together.
I know that one day, I will be able to look at photos of you again without sobbing. And I know all this pain I am feeling is because I loved you so fiercely and completely, and I wouldn’t trade it for a second I got to spend with you.
But right now, four days after saying goodbye, it feels like the heartbreak will never heal, like I will never smile again.
Rest in peace, my darling Dozer. I will never forget you, and I will never stop loving you.
Love,
Your mum xoxo
Thank you SASH
To the vets and nurses at the Small Animal Specialist Hospital (SASH),
Thank you for the extraordinary care, skill, and kindness you showed Dozer. Every moment, from the medical expertise to the gentle reassurance and cheering him on, meant more to me than I can say. Knowing he was in such capable, compassionate hands gave me comfort during the hardest days. I will always be deeply grateful for everything you did for my beautiful boy. – Nagi x
Sending our condolences we’ve just lost our labourer after 17 years and know what you are going through
Dear Nagi
Sorry to hear about your loss of beautiful Dozer.
He was beautiful and I realise how much you will miss him.
Thinking of you
Anna
Nagi my heart goes out to you. I know the pain and we are all here sending much love and prayers. Dozer ♥️🙏🏻
You know dogs are like children to us except they live there whole life in what is to us only junior years and perhaps that is what makes it so hard to loose them although if it was a loved family member passing in equivalent dog years (98) whilst sadness would engulf us, after a period of extreme mourning the greatest gift of our love would be resilience manifested through living our life to the fullest as our dog had done as an eternal example
On reading the sad news a few days ego on my phone whilst on holiday I was consumed by an unproportionate amount of grief since i don’t know either of you personally though the connection that you 2 had was palpable from the photos in my favorite book, Tonight, apart from blogs etc. (I have know idea how you have so much energy!!)
Positive finish – we caught a mud crab the next day and made your version (almost) of Singapore Chilli Mud
Crab.
Mourn Heal Resurrect in his honour
Chris
Nagi, I am so sorry for your grief. Dozer will always be with you. Many blessings xxx
Oh, the wonderful warm memories you will have of your loving Dozer with the gentle heart, and the joyous life you had together.
Thank you so much for sharing Dozer with us. I love his images featuring throughout your lovely recipe books. It’s so hard to let them go; those special dogs who are family. So many tears. Dozer will always be here with you. x x
Daar Nagi, you and Dozer have been in my thoughts. Your Dozer stories brought me much joy and many laughs over the years. We lost our gorgeous girl last year, the wonderful team at SASH took care of her too. They go above and beyond. Take care of yourself and know many people are sending you their love.
Nagi, I have been here in Los Angeles enjoying your posts for 5 years now. But today, I have been crying for you all day. I share your heartbreak and your grief. Your darling Dozer indeed. What a love.
My poor love. Dozer had the best life a dog could hope for, and he was loved by tens of thousands of people, all over the world. Thankyou so much for sharing your lovely doggie with all of us. I hope you can find some small comfort in knowing how much joy he brought to so many people. Thankyou Nagi, and thankyou Dozer xxx
I was sorry Nagi to hear that Dozer passed away. I uses to go straight to read about him before I looked at your recipes. My heart is with you love Karin xox
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Dover was such a sweet dog! I know what that is. I’ve been a devoted animal lover my whole life. I’m 79 years old now and have had to say good-bye to many dogs and other beloved animals in my life. My best hope for you is that when you’re ready for another dog, you will consider a small dog, because they live longer. My small dogs all lived to 17 or 18; all died of old age. So painful, the loss of our dear pets! I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. When you cross the rainbow bridge, I know Dozer will be there waiting for you. Much love.❤️
So sorry for your loss. Loss of a pet is like losing part of yourself. They have been with 24 hours a day for so long. Always part of your life.. Some good memories though, love and hugs Necia xx
All our love to you Nagi, I have to beautiful standard poodles and my boy is getting on in years. Our babies like Dozer mean everything to us. My heart goes our to you, it hurts so much but It will get better and we never forget. Trudie
Beautiful photos of your lovely boy Dozer..
God it is so hard when they leave us and the house feels so empty. Seems impossible but it slowly gets a little easier with time.
Thinking of you.
I’m so very sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry you have lost your beautiful boy. Thank you for sharing his adventures with us. Sincere condolences. 🙁
Dear Nagi, we are so so sorry for your loss of beautiful Dozer. My 3 year old son and I loved watching him in your baked butter chicken video. My heart is just breaking for you. Praying peace and rest for you in this time xxx
I feel your loss Nagi. My heart aches for you as you cope with the loss of your wonderful Dozer. Time does heal and lessen the pain of loss while our memories keep our loved one close. Bless you as you adjust to your new normal. R.I.P. Dozer. You are loved by all.
Ahh the tears we cry for our beautiful animals. My heart breaks for you Nagi, lost our wonderful golden retriever some 15 years ago at age 14. Now have the most awesome labradoodle Harley who at 11 is sadly showing signs of slowing down. It is a journey, and the end time is quite frankly awful.