I held his paw and slept by his side for 14 days in hospital. But it turned out, all the love in the world wasn’t enough to save him. Thus begins the final post on Life of Dozer.
My dearest Dozer,
You came into my life in my arms, holding you protectively. And after almost 14 years together, I held you in my arms protectively again as I said goodbye.
I was sobbing so hard, I forgot everything I wanted to say to you in our final moments together.
So I started writing this letter to you, to say all those things.
I wanted to reminisce about our wonderful times – the thousands of visits to the dog beach, all the wonderful food we sampled together, the cuddles, the neck-scratching-sessions, our road trips.
I wanted to thank you for spreading the joy that is you with readers all around the world, for happily coming along with me to meet readers at events, book signings, fund raisers, lunches, dinners, not to mention TV shows, photo shoots, and my gosh, we can’t forget our stint on Play School!
But as I sit here, typing away with tears streaming down my face, I realise that’s not what I want to say to you.
What I want to say is thank you.
Thank you for giving me your whole heart.
Thank you for giving me your unconditional loyalty.
Thank you for loving me just as I am, for all my flaws, for never caring what I weigh, what I wear, what I look like.
Thank you for always being there, my one constant through the good and bad times.
Thank you for making me smile, even on the hardest of days.
And thank you for trying so hard to stay with me as long as you could, fighting to heal until your very last day. I will never forget how deep you had to dig to find the strength for your rehab walk on our final morning together.
I know that one day, I will be able to look at photos of you again without sobbing. And I know all this pain I am feeling is because I loved you so fiercely and completely, and I wouldn’t trade it for a second I got to spend with you.
But right now, four days after saying goodbye, it feels like the heartbreak will never heal, like I will never smile again.
Rest in peace, my darling Dozer. I will never forget you, and I will never stop loving you.
Love,
Your mum xoxo
Thank you SASH
To the vets and nurses at the Small Animal Specialist Hospital (SASH),
Thank you for the extraordinary care, skill, and kindness you showed Dozer. Every moment, from the medical expertise to the gentle reassurance and cheering him on, meant more to me than I can say. Knowing he was in such capable, compassionate hands gave me comfort during the hardest days. I will always be deeply grateful for everything you did for my beautiful boy. – Nagi x
Such a profound loss. I am so very sorry. He was indeed a gift from God. I have a senior golden retriever too.
So sad to hear this. I love your recipes and your blog. Dozer was well loved by all. So sorry for your loss.
I love your recipes and have followed you for at least the past 6 years. I prepare meals for 12-16 roughly once a week for our Gospel class. and people rave about them. All of this is thanks to you.
But the real reason I followed your blog was Dozer. He added such charm to your website. I loved your stories about him.
I too have lost dogs and understand what it is like to lose a part of yourself.
As I have said repeatedly, I am going to refuse to go in to Heaven when I die, if I can’t have my beloved dogs with me. It simply would noit be heaven without them all.
May God grant you comfort now that Dozer is gone. And thank you for sharing your great recipes with us.
Rohini DeSilva
Thinking of you Nagi, Dozer brought so much joy to so many people over the years, thank you for sharing him xxx
I am so sorry for your loss and I cannot imagine the pain you must be in 🙁 fly high dozer 🕊️🪦💗
Dear Nagi, sending you my deepest condolences for the lost of your fur child, it is like losing a piece of your self and the pain is in your heart, but Dozer knows of your great love for him and your memories are with you forever 🙁 xx
I made the incredibly difficult decision to put down our beautiful girl, Jade, just shy of 11 on 10 Feb. We did everything together, she was my faithful co-pilot, and losing her is like losing the rain. I am so sorry for your loss.
This could be written by me, to my best guy, who’s 13. I know the day isn’t too far off and I don’t know what I’ll do without him. I’m so happy you had Dozer and he had you. You’ll meet again someday, and what a wonderful day that will be. In the meantime, I’m so sorry for your loss and I hope you find peace.
Our dear dog, Bella, died at 13 years on February 3rd. We are so heartbroken and so grateful for her dear presence in our lives. Dozer looked like a very dear guy. My heart flows to yours.
Dear Nagi,
We are thinking of you at this very difficult time. Dozer was such a beautiful pet. He was loved by all who met him.
What a beautiful life Dozer had. You were so meant to spend the time together that you had. He was a special boy.
The deeper the love, the deeper the grief – love lasts and grief eases, although it doesn’t happen soon enough.
My sympathy.
I am so sorry to hear Dozer. You’re in our thoughts and prayers.
This is the second time I’ve read your tribute and still have tears streaming down my face.
I’ve followed your many recipes and always enjoyed his pictures helping you in the kitchen. I’m so sorry
Oh, Nagi, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know this loss is gutting. You and Dozer were so, so lucky to have each other and I always appreciated seeing how he was a part of your life, and how much joy you brought each other. Thank you for sharing Dozer with us for all these years. I am sending you so much love and will give my own critters extra love and treats today, for Dozer. <3
Hi Nagi,
I have been following you and Dozer and my heart truly breaks for your loss. As others have said you loved him and it was clear he loved you right back. Cherish all those wonderful memories. Sending you healing thoughts.
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Dozer will be missed.
Dear dear Nagi,
I am so sorry for your loss. Your most beautiful, loyal, trustworthy Dozer is not yours to hug any more. He gave you 14 wonderful years. Lucky you, lucky him!
Please trust that the pain eases and one day soon, you’ll be able to see his pictures without sobbing. Because he is so alive in your heart.
With love,
Pix
Hi Nagi!
Sending you my hug. Im so sorry for your loss of your boy Dozer. I know how does it feel as i was loss my fur cat yesterday because she hit and run in the street as she suddenly go out of the gate. I am not ready and the feeling is very painful. Most especially seeing her 3 little kittens which is only 4-weeks old. My heartbreak same as yours. I hope we both healed in due time. Our fur babies have an unconditional love to us.
Sending hugs
Joy
Hi Nagi. I’m so sorry to hear the news about Dozer. I take comfort in remembering how you both loved and interacted. Thank you for sharing a lil snippet of the joy you shared in life.
Arohanui Vi