I held his paw and slept by his side for 14 days in hospital. But it turned out, all the love in the world wasn’t enough to save him. Thus begins the final post on Life of Dozer.
My dearest Dozer,
You came into my life in my arms, holding you protectively. And after almost 14 years together, I held you in my arms protectively again as I said goodbye.
I was sobbing so hard, I forgot everything I wanted to say to you in our final moments together.
So I started writing this letter to you, to say all those things.
I wanted to reminisce about our wonderful times – the thousands of visits to the dog beach, all the wonderful food we sampled together, the cuddles, the neck-scratching-sessions, our road trips.
I wanted to thank you for spreading the joy that is you with readers all around the world, for happily coming along with me to meet readers at events, book signings, fund raisers, lunches, dinners, not to mention TV shows, photo shoots, and my gosh, we can’t forget our stint on Play School!
But as I sit here, typing away with tears streaming down my face, I realise that’s not what I want to say to you.
What I want to say is thank you.
Thank you for giving me your whole heart.
Thank you for giving me your unconditional loyalty.
Thank you for loving me just as I am, for all my flaws, for never caring what I weigh, what I wear, what I look like.
Thank you for always being there, my one constant through the good and bad times.
Thank you for making me smile, even on the hardest of days.
And thank you for trying so hard to stay with me as long as you could, fighting to heal until your very last day. I will never forget how deep you had to dig to find the strength for your rehab walk on our final morning together.
I know that one day, I will be able to look at photos of you again without sobbing. And I know all this pain I am feeling is because I loved you so fiercely and completely, and I wouldn’t trade it for a second I got to spend with you.
But right now, four days after saying goodbye, it feels like the heartbreak will never heal, like I will never smile again.
Rest in peace, my darling Dozer. I will never forget you, and I will never stop loving you.
Love,
Your mum xoxo
Thank you SASH
To the vets and nurses at the Small Animal Specialist Hospital (SASH),
Thank you for the extraordinary care, skill, and kindness you showed Dozer. Every moment, from the medical expertise to the gentle reassurance and cheering him on, meant more to me than I can say. Knowing he was in such capable, compassionate hands gave me comfort during the hardest days. I will always be deeply grateful for everything you did for my beautiful boy. – Nagi x
Nagi, reading that has me in tears. I remember finding your website many years ago and remember Dozer growing up always happy to sample what his mother was making. I am so glad he was always there for you when all the work you were doing felt tiring. Your brother gave you the best gift ever — a friend whose heart was all yours. I mourn your loss as I mourn those who have gone before me, knowing that someday I hope I’ll have the pleasure of meeting him in heaven while he waits to greet you. Take pleasure in knowing that he knew how much you loved him and it was a huge comfort to him. Because of your love, you shared him with us, and we thank you. Know that we won’t forget him. May the wonderful memories you have of him eventually bring you joy rather than sorrow. May God comfort you.
Nagi
Thank you for sharing your story, love, and grief for Dozer. The pain does soften. Sending many angels your way.
Thank you so much for sharing. I had 3 Westies (all now passed on). I still miss each of them. Not being impertinent, but when the time is right I hope you’ll acquire another dog friend/pal. Dogs are the best! Best wishes and God bless.
My heartfelt condolences I send to you. As you shed the ten thousand tears, know each one of them is swept away with the love that you had for Dozer and he had for you. As your readers grief with you we too carry Dozers love he shared with the world in our hearts, he will be remembered for all that love he gave you and you will feel him with you in all you do. Blessings of peace to you, thank-you so much for sharing your journey with all of us. Nancy
I’m just so so sorry Nagi..
But he is in no pain or worry now.
He knows you love love him
All sympathies
Always in your heart xx🐾🩷🐾
Nagi I feel your pain. We,loved Dozer 5,ywars ago I lost my beauiful Ollie Malteze,Llaso
He loves me unconditionally too some days I still have tears Be kind to yourself this too shall pass
It is one of the hardest heartbreak to lose our beloved pet! Cherish the memories you had together & cry whenever you need to. There is no time limit to mourn BUT know that he’ll always be with you in your heart & mind. Prayers for comfort….thank you for sharing..
Dear Nagi,
Reading about how absolutely brutal it was for you to say goodbye to Dozer brought such sadness. My heart aches for you!
I had to say goodbye to my beautiful Golden Zeus many years ago. It was so hard I didn’t know if I would ever feel happy again. The bond we share with our four legged friends is beyond powerful. The love we share is undefinable.
In time, the pain does lessen and the love doesn’t. Take good care of yourself.
Thanks for being such a good mama to your boy. ❤️🙏❤️
Dear Nagi, I am so sorry for your loss. I have admired your cooking esthetics since I discovered your blog before the pandemic. Your earnest and delicious recipes have become a small treasure I have enjoyed. It was Dozer, your wonderful Golden Retriever who added that huge tablespoon of humanity into the mix, I will miss him.
Robin
I am crying as I read your words. I have enjoyed reading about Dozer. I have my own furrbabies. The most beautiful part of our lives is to share it with an animal. And the hardest is we never get enough time. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you peace as you heal.
So sorry for your loss Nagi. I have been a fan if you and Dozer for awhile. He was a beautiful dog you and amazing parent. He is now in peace and not in pain.
So very sorry for your loss. Take comfort in knowing you gave him a wonderful life. May he rest in peace over the rainbow bridge.
My dear Nagi, I’m deeply sorry for your loss. Hope time and your inner strenght shall help you. Love AM
It is one of the hardest heartbreak to lose our beloved pet! Cherish the memories you had together & cry whenever you need to. There is no time limit to mourn BUT know that he’ll always be with you in your heart & mind. Prayers for comfort….
😢 hugging you so tight Nagi! 😢
🙏🏼
So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing his life with us. It always brought a smile to my face.
So sorry for your loss, Nagi.
Heartfealt wishes from Montreal, Canada
Helene
Dear Nagi,
Huge hugs from me for you at this time. Such wonderful memories you have of this extraordinary fur baby. Dozer’s spirit will always be with you. God bless .
Dear Nagi
I feel deeply for you and know Dozer is resting peacefully watching over you now. Beautiful memories will live on in you. 💕
He was the best. My deepest sympathies.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Nothing can prepare us for it. You gave him love and he returned it with all his heart, as our babies always do. I want the Rainbow Bridge to be true so I can see all of my babies again, especially my Beauregard, I miss him everyday and it’s been years. RIP and when you’re ready, maybe it’s time to save a new baby. There are so many in need. Hugs